________________________________________________________________________________________
Assalammualaikum.

Try to understand the meaning...

Got that meaning? 

No wonder I love this song. No wonder I love her songs. No wonder... 

I won't back down. I won't lose myself while trying to hold on to someone who doesn't care to lose me. I won't. Why should I live with people who don't care about me? They don't deserve to be in my best moments in the first place. 

So, now, I'm gonna throw everything outta my mind.

Yes, she got everything. From head to toe, she has everything. I'm no one compare to her. People listen to her. People love her. People like her. People need her. People long for her. Everything she says should be listened. No words comes from them. They obey her. But not me. 

It's like I'm invisible. A shadow in the faded light. Right, I was never there before. They see right through me. They don't see me. Only at times, when the light shines brightly and there, they see a bit of me. 





No words can come out of my mouth. It's sealed. No tears dropped out of my eyes. They're locked. Only my heart is there, unlocked. I don't want you to be between my lips for me to talk about you, not in my eyes for me to see you from afar, but in my heart, for me to cherish every moments I'm with you.

All these while, I've been thankful to be with you. But I guess you don't like me. You don't cherish our moments together. We're so different. We're not the same. You can't accept me for who I am. 

This is me. I can't change the way I live. I can't change the way I feel. I can't change the way my brain works. Cause this is me. I may be annoying at times. I may be stupid at times. I may be crazy at times. But you just have to accept me for who I am. I never try to be someone else. I live the way I used to live. Only people I'm connected with are different. 



So I hope you can accept me for who I am. Accept everything I say, everything I do, everything... Cause I never mean it. I am like this. I can't change myself. I miss the old me. I try to be the old me but I just can't. People around me are different. I also miss the old you. I miss the old us. Don't say that I don't try to change it to be normal. I did but you just seem not to notice it. 

You just have to realize that I'm not you. The way our brain works is different. I'm totally not like you. I may be hard at times but I'm soft. I don't take everything to my heart. I tend to forgive people easily. I tend to forget every hurt moments easily. But I just can't forget when people take serious everything I did. Lie. Yes, I admit, my brain remembers every single thing people said, people did that made me sad. But everything is the past. I move on easily. I forgive them. I pretend as if I'm okay. I sing, I dance, I rap as always. Forgive is forgive, forget is forget. 

I forgive people, I remember everything, but I never bring it up.

I remember every single thing you said and did that made me happy, sad, angry and frustrated. Everything. The happy moments cover the sad moments. The good words cover the bad words. The fun actions cover the annoy actions. Unknowingly, I smile. Cause I remember how cool our friendship are. 

I may be the hole on the floor, people can fall inside me. But I hope you can be the one who patches me back to normal. I hope you can be the one who will notice the slightest hole in me. But will you ever do that? Will you ever think of it? Will you ever care about me?

You thought I'm hypocrite but you just have to know that I'm different. Slightly different from everyone else, that you thought I'm hypocrite, I'm acting. You don't see right through me. You can't see everything in my eyes. You can never be in my shoes. Cause you never will. 



I'm touched when she said those words to me. I know how does she feel. This is me. I don't want people to feel the same hurt feeling I feel. I will do everything to make my beloved ones feel happy. I will fight for them. Even if they don't fight for me, even if they never stand up for me, but I just can't help but to fight for them. 

So, you can't just blame me for that. I know what I'm doing. I'm not THAT stupid. I appreciate them. I'm thankful to them. Therefore, I fight against the will. I try. 



You are lucky. So damn lucky. You have everything while me? You know my stories. But you never get what I feel. You never be in my shoes. You will never feel what I feel. But that belongs to the past. You never know my stories again. You never know what I feel again. 

Friends come and go, but I've never thought you'll be one of them.

You move on while I'm still hoping you'll turn back. I'm standing here, waiting for you. But if you never turn back, I guess, I have to run and keep on running until I find someone who truly cares for me, who will never ignore me despite everything I said or did. But just so you know, even though I'm running for the better, I'm still there by your side. I'm not letting you go. 

If you ever... Ever miss me, close your eyes, open your mind and remember our happy moments. 

By then, I may be moving on. I may be change for the better. But my heart will never change. Cause I'm slightly different. Cause I am different.









Right. Maybe you don't read my post, but just so you know, I miss the old you.

That's all. I miss you. I'm sorry. Assalammualaikum.

Labels: fight, friends, heart, myself, sad, school

PAST ♥ FUTURE

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Mine ;
Name : A!da $abr!na
Nicknames : A!da/$abr!na/Angel/BDA/Blue Diamond Angel/Alien/Dodo/Clown/Aidada/Chanyeol's Wifey
Korean name : Park Angelina
Birthday : 14th May 1999
State : EXO Planet, Earth, Saturn
Status : Officially taken by Chanyeol

Likes ;
☆ Kpop
☆ Chanyeol
☆ Blogging
☆ McFlurry Oreo
☆ Geronimo Stilton
☆ Fanfics
☆ Rapping

Hates ;
☆ Anons
☆ Copypasters
☆ Kpop haters
☆ Haters
☆ Annoying person
☆ Liars

Facts ;
◕‿◕ Currently studying in SMART
◕‿◕ I express my feelings through fictions
◕‿◕ Sometimes I think I'm good in writing and sometimes I think I'm not
◕‿◕ Deep inside me, I want to write an English novel on my own
◕‿◕ Creating posters is one of my hobbies actually
◕‿◕ Love to read English novels but never really finish reading every word in them
◕‿◕ I can get so touched when I read sad fictions
◕‿◕ I love to collect quotes from fictions
◕‿◕ I only read angst fictions- kinda
◕‿◕ Wish I can be fluent in Arabic, English, Korean, Japanese, Mandarin and Urdu ASAP
◕‿◕ I don't really like to do the same thing over and over again. Get sick of it seriously
◕‿◕ I have flaws but I'm thankful for that
◕‿◕ I want someone who doesn't care about me embarrassing myself. Example: If I accidentally make fun of myself, then he would laugh and then he would say things like "haha you're so embarrassing but who cares? My love for you won't ever change." Cheesy enough heh?
◕‿◕ And I want that someone to love me for being random. Example: When I write about random things out of the topic we're talking about, he would be saying things like, oh you're so random, why do I like you in the first place and such. Too cheesy I kennot
◕‿◕ Sometimes I talk too much
◕‿◕ I am so not romantic but I love romantic things but I'm so geli with all those romance thingy

"Capture well the moment because it is evanescent."

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Sya-Syahirah | Ana Marlina | Ana Min-Ji | My Lost Star | You're Cold, I like! | Loving You Secretly | Can't You See? | Blue Diamond Angel | Chanyeol's Wifey | ASK BDA

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Stories of De Angel

I express my feelings by writing stories.

Synopsis !

Prologue !

Chapter 1 !

Chapter 2 !

Coming soon !

______________________________________________________________________________________________

My Asianfanfics Fictions

My Lost Star !

Can't You See? !

Coming soon !

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Recommended Fanfics

My Crazy Hot Aliens !

My Crazy Hot Aliens II: The Invasion !

My Arranged Marriage with EXO-K's Sehun !

A Taste Of Your Own Medicine !

Murder In The Dark !

Yellow Dahlias !

Love Letters !

Coming Soon !

Never In My Shoes

Sunday, March 10, 2013 | 2:12 PM | 0 comments

Assalammualaikum.

Try to understand the meaning...

I can almost see it

That dream I am dreaming

But there's a voice inside my head saying"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying

Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it moveAlways gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing

The chances I'm taking

Sometimes might knock me down

But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it

But these are the moments that

I'm gonna remember most, yeah

Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong

Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing

Keep the faith, baby

It's all about, it's all about the climb

Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

Got that meaning? 

No wonder I love this song. No wonder I love her songs. No wonder... 

I won't back down. I won't lose myself while trying to hold on to someone who doesn't care to lose me. I won't. Why should I live with people who don't care about me? They don't deserve to be in my best moments in the first place. 

So, now, I'm gonna throw everything outta my mind.

Yes, she got everything. From head to toe, she has everything. I'm no one compare to her. People listen to her. People love her. People like her. People need her. People long for her. Everything she says should be listened. No words comes from them. They obey her. But not me. 

It's like I'm invisible. A shadow in the faded light. Right, I was never there before. They see right through me. They don't see me. Only at times, when the light shines brightly and there, they see a bit of me. 

No words can come out of my mouth. It's sealed. No tears dropped out of my eyes. They're locked. Only my heart is there, unlocked. I don't want you to be between my lips for me to talk about you, not in my eyes for me to see you from afar, but in my heart, for me to cherish every moments I'm with you.

All these while, I've been thankful to be with you. But I guess you don't like me. You don't cherish our moments together. We're so different. We're not the same. You can't accept me for who I am. 

This is me. I can't change the way I live. I can't change the way I feel. I can't change the way my brain works. Cause this is me. I may be annoying at times. I may be stupid at times. I may be crazy at times. But you just have to accept me for who I am. I never try to be someone else. I live the way I used to live. Only people I'm connected with are different. 

So I hope you can accept me for who I am. Accept everything I say, everything I do, everything... Cause I never mean it. I am like this. I can't change myself. I miss the old me. I try to be the old me but I just can't. People around me are different. I also miss the old you. I miss the old us. Don't say that I don't try to change it to be normal. I did but you just seem not to notice it. 

You just have to realize that I'm not you. The way our brain works is different. I'm totally not like you. I may be hard at times but I'm soft. I don't take everything to my heart. I tend to forgive people easily. I tend to forget every hurt moments easily. But I just can't forget when people take serious everything I did. Lie. Yes, I admit, my brain remembers every single thing people said, people did that made me sad. But everything is the past. I move on easily. I forgive them. I pretend as if I'm okay. I sing, I dance, I rap as always. Forgive is forgive, forget is forget. 

I forgive people, I remember everything, but I never bring it up.

I remember every single thing you said and did that made me happy, sad, angry and frustrated. Everything. The happy moments cover the sad moments. The good words cover the bad words. The fun actions cover the annoy actions. Unknowingly, I smile. Cause I remember how cool our friendship are. 

I may be the hole on the floor, people can fall inside me. But I hope you can be the one who patches me back to normal. I hope you can be the one who will notice the slightest hole in me. But will you ever do that? Will you ever think of it? Will you ever care about me?

You thought I'm hypocrite but you just have to know that I'm different. Slightly different from everyone else, that you thought I'm hypocrite, I'm acting. You don't see right through me. You can't see everything in my eyes. You can never be in my shoes. Cause you never will. 

I'm touched when she said those words to me. I know how does she feel. This is me. I don't want people to feel the same hurt feeling I feel. I will do everything to make my beloved ones feel happy. I will fight for them. Even if they don't fight for me, even if they never stand up for me, but I just can't help but to fight for them. 

So, you can't just blame me for that. I know what I'm doing. I'm not THAT stupid. I appreciate them. I'm thankful to them. Therefore, I fight against the will. I try. 

You are lucky. So damn lucky. You have everything while me? You know my stories. But you never get what I feel. You never be in my shoes. You will never feel what I feel. But that belongs to the past. You never know my stories again. You never know what I feel again. 

Friends come and go, but I've never thought you'll be one of them.

You move on while I'm still hoping you'll turn back. I'm standing here, waiting for you. But if you never turn back, I guess, I have to run and keep on running until I find someone who truly cares for me, who will never ignore me despite everything I said or did. But just so you know, even though I'm running for the better, I'm still there by your side. I'm not letting you go. 

If you ever... Ever miss me, close your eyes, open your mind and remember our happy moments. 

By then, I may be moving on. I may be change for the better. But my heart will never change. Cause I'm slightly different. Cause I am different.

Dear you,

I miss you,

I love you,

I need you,

I don't care how much you annoy me,

I don't care how much you ignore me,

I don't care how much you hate me,

I am still here,

Waiting for you.

But you have a replacement,

I'm not by your side anymore,

I'm not there for you anymore,

I'm just a stranger to you,

Who will never be in your heart.

Just so you know,

I really appreciate our friendship,

I am grateful to have you,

I will cherish our moments together,

I truly am sorry.

We are different,

You are black, I am white,

You are fire, I am water,

You are hot, I am cold,

You are you, I am me.

Right. Maybe you don't read my post, but just so you know, I miss the old you.

That's all. I miss you. I'm sorry. Assalammualaikum.

Love you guys, bubblebye ^_^

Labels: fight, friends, heart, myself, sad, school