Express The Angel

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Thursday, October 11, 2012 | 7:18 PM | 0 Alien

“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,

Love like you'll never be hurt,

Sing like there's nobody listening,

And live like it's heaven on earth.”

― William W. Purkey

What a great quote!

Assalammualaikum.

Yeah. I'm gonna always remember this quote. I'm gonna live like it's heaven on earth. I'm gonna always smile and be happy, even if it hurts me so damn much. No, I'm not gonna be any weaker anymore. No, not anymore. I'm gonna be like I was before. I'm gonna smile and smile and smile. Lemme be the smiling machine. Call me a weird girl for smiling so much, I don't care. Cause it's me, who I am, not you.

I heard something about p---s and g-----s. Wow. Are they connected to each other? They were mentioned right on the same minute. Wow, daebak! It's just a coincidence or what? But what do I care... They're not my business. So, I'm just gonna stay out of them. ^_^

Remember, you are braver than you believe,

You are stronger than you seem,

And you are smarter than you think.

I should have remember this too! I can do better than I think, InsyaAllah. I'm a lot stronger than I thought. Came to think about it, just remembered something that happened yesterday that made me cry when I was about to pray. MasyaAllah, why did I cry yesterday? How could I ruin my own happy day by crying for that one problem? Yesterday was 10th October and yet, I cried for the not-so-important-thing. Huh -,-

Well, it might not be an important thing for me to cry yesterday, but it did important for me on the other days. (Ayat keling?) Nevermind. I know God wouldn't give me anything I couldn't handle, but... It's quite a little bit too much for me. For someone like me.

First thing first, as I told you days before, I had a few problems and all and it seemed to be over. Not really over but it was better than before. She called my name even though it was a bit depressing for me at first. No, it's not like I didn't want her to call me name but I was hurt. My heart hurt. It felt like something stabbed it over and over again. Now I knew why. I knew why she disappointed on me. Wow, unbelievable. The moment when she said that line, tears welled in my eyes. I was gonna cry but I held them. I didn't wanna cry. No, not in front of her. Then, she told me to answer that. I knew what I was going to say but since I was in verge of tears, I answered, "عمتي" softly. I didn't smile like I used to. Cause I knew, if I smile, I would cry. It was very disappointing me to know why did she disappoint on me. To know what did I do. To know the truth. People say that sometimes truth is hurt. Yes, it is hurt but it's more painful when you know that someone is lying to make you feel better.

Behind my smile is a hurting heart. Behind my laugh, I'm falling apart. Look closely inside me and you will see the girl I am... Isn't me.

I found something that made me thought, Okay, this is it, the thing that I'm looking for.

Always remember compliments you received, forget all about the rude remarks.

This is just what I need. It gives me encouragement. I love it. From now on, I'm gonna remember all the compliments that I received from my teachers, parents, family and friends. I'm not gonna think about the rude remarks or something like that. No. Remember my quote? Live like Spongebob. Laugh out loud and annoy the mean people with your happiness. So, now, I'm gonna be happy. Gonna laugh out loud and ANNOY the MEAN PEOPLE with my happiness. Even when I'm hurt so badly, I'm gonna enjoy myself. Enjoy like it's a part of a show. Enjoy like it's a part of my 2 years imagination.

When I cry at night, the only thing that I can think to myself is how can I seem so-perfectly fine in the morning. Why do I smile like nothing is wrong? And how does not one single person notice that I'm not okay?

I wonder how people see me right now. Sometimes, I just wanna get out of my life, step aside, and watch how people live their life from afar.

Is she still mad at me? I don't know. I have no idea. I seriously can't seem to get how she's feeling right now. The moment she said "NEVER", something hit me. As I told ya, I'm gonna cry. Yes. I was but I didn't. But somehow, I felt unsatisfied. I didn't like how it turned out to be. How something small could turn into a really big problem to me. Huh.

Okay. I guess it's enough for today. Is it long enough? Well, I was kinda emotional when I wrote this post cause I was listening to PAINKILLER by SPICA. I could understand some of lyrics so, yeah. It touched my heart.

Anyway, assalammualaikum! I gotta play The Sims Social! ^_^

Remember these quotes and I'm gonna be happy! Chaiyok! Hwaiting! Fighting!

Na eottokhae arasseo? Huh, no more that sentence in my life, okay? Gotta erase them bit by bit. I'm not gonna ask myself that question again. Every thing happens with a reason - either to make us stronger or to just make this life even more exciting. What life is if everything about it is HAPPY? Life is like a movie. A long movie... What kind of movie who has just happy parts? So bored -,- A great movie needs romance, comedy, action, adventure, happy, sad and sacrifice. It needs every type of genre to make it as the best movie ever. But still... There's just a story that is just so great and gonna be our role-model. Our Prophet Muhammad. Right. I'm gonna be like him. I'm gonna try to be like him. I'm not perfect, so does anyone else but at least I try. I try...

Okay, seriously, assalammualaikum!

- Tetibe hari ni post in English. Nampak sgt lah ke'emotional'an nya di situ. Bila saya emo, saya tulis English -

Labels: enemy, heart, myself, sad, school

PAST ♥ FUTURE

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