Wednesday, June 18, 2025 | 6:05 PM | 0 Alien
This has been drafted since October 2024.
This is a list of the things I like about myself; in case I'm feeling worthless later.
This is a much-needed list, but tbh I've been postponing writing this post for a week already.
It's quite hard to pinpoint a specific thing I like about myself, but I know this is important.
As the time I'm writing this post, I'm feeling down because someone just commented that I look chubby during the HOship. My weight is the same. I probably lost a total of 2 kg in general, but I don't think it's obvious. My waist is currently 61 cm. In conclusion, I'm not chubby / getting any chubbier throughout this 1 month of HOship.
So I needed this.
Myself needed this list.
I need to be reminded that I love myself, that I have good qualities that I like about myself, whatever it is.
Bismillah, here we go!
- I'm strong headed
Strong headed / hard-headed, whichever you prefer. I personally like the word strong headed more, because it shows my strength, rather than me being degil and don't wanna listen to anyone.
Once I made up my mind about something, it'll take forever for me to change my mind, unless something proves the thought to be wrong. I'm hard to please and I know some people find me intimidating whenever I've decided on something, but I think it's okay. It shows that my mental is not weak, that I'm not easily influenced by other people.
I'm strong headed and I love that about myself.
I'm pretty sure no one will refute this quality in me. That's just how strong headed I am.
Update 15/12/25: a guy just rejected me yesterday because "character awak terlalu tegas" "awak strict dengan decision awak". He was talking about how he felt sad/scared that I would leave him whenever I couldn't tolerate him, so he left me first :) how ironic :)
So now that I'm a bit calm, here's my take:
Everyone around me knows that I am tegas and strict with my decision. I don't change my mind when I made it up. But it's not a weakness. It's a strong quality for me, because I respect myself enough to stick with my thoughts. I respect myself enough to not be a lalang and change my decision every 1-2 business days. I respect myself enough to know that whenever I've decided something, I've thought about it thoroughly, and I'll have no regrets afterwards.
And when they are people who find it as a flaw, I think it reflects themselves. It reflects their low self-confidence and how they're not willing to handle my mind, or they don't even have the courage to handle my mind.
I grew up from a torn family. I've seen and heard and learned a lot as I grew up. My mind was shaped into this really strong persona, and it's honestly a good quality. It's a protective mechanism I have from foolish people. And screw those people who find it as my flaw.
- I'm positive
I'm all rainbows and flowers and butterflies and sunshine and all good vibes most of the time. I know sometimes I'm a bit too anxious, but most of time, I try to keep my thoughts positive.
I try to keep up with the motivational statuses every day with hopes that at least someone out of the hundred people seen the status would feel comforted. I hope the statuses keep someone sane, remind them that they're worthy, that they did amazing in this life, that it's not time to give up with life yet.
Many of my friends have mentioned that the motivational statuses have helped them in some kinds of way, and I'm very thankful to know that.
- I'm nice
I always try to help people out whenever I can. I speak nicely to everyone, and I don't discriminate anyone. I try to be nice to everyone, even with rude people.
When the stupid ass U**i didn't do his work and put most of the work on me, Farhan said to Atifah, "kesian Aida, Aida dah lah baik." But Atifah replied with, "Aida tu baik sebab dia masuk lambat je, banyak lagi kena belajar. Kalau dia masuk awal, tak nampak lah side dia tu." Well, in a way, it's true. I wouldn't let him step on my self-worth that much if I were to enter the HOship early.
I'm nice, I know it, even if sometimes I'm just a bit too nice.
It's hard to say 'no' to people, especially whenever the seniors ask me to do something.
- I'm soft-spoken
My speaking tone is soft most of the time, regardless of anyone I'm talking to. Well, probably except when I'm making a decision and standing up for myself-- then it's a big no. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure I speak softly to everyone. It's not the cringy type. It's just the calming type, I guess.
And I like that about myself.
Even if it's hard to speak loudly whenever people call the ward and I have to walk up to at least 2 SNs to tell them to speak to the phone, I still find it okay.
I'm pretty sure my friends, esp the distant ones, would agree on this tho. The close ones-- sorry, I'm a bit too carefree with them hehe but I still speak nicely to them.
- I do my job well
I can learn fast and do my job well (in my opinion). Atifah always says that she knows I'll do my job well, that I won't have a problem in doing my job (but she's always scared if I'll talk back to the MOs).
But honestly, I don't think it's a valid concern. I know when and when not to talk back to people. I don't think people should worry about me when it comes to that because I certainly think before I talk back.
Going back to the topic, I've been good in doing my job since university. You won't catch me slacking off because I don't.
Starting my CFS year as the subcommittee of MEDCY, then climbing my way up slowly until I became the vice president 1 of MedSS and the president of Volunteer Team in the same year, and pushed my team to win The Best Club and The Most Outstanding Outreach Programme.
And my colleagues now, most of them praise me for doing my job fast and for being efficient. I have pride in my work because I know I do my job well, and I'll improve fast.
In medical, the MOs trust me to take care of 12 patients alone. And the MOs even trust my oncall reviews because they said I perform well and I do my job well.
- I am a good leader
I was born to be a leader. There, I said it. I am a good follower, but I know I'm a pain in the ass sometimes. So I'm better suited as a leader.
In medical, I think a lot when I'm making my daily ward schedule. I have a lot of pride in my schedules, in the sense that ONLY lazy MOs would complain about my schedule (putting first posters at acute) and that's it.
- I'm a good listener
Some people might say that I yap a lot, especially through ws status. But if you get to know me, I am a really good listener. I can listen well. And I remember their stories well. I pay attention and I remember.
And I offer comfort to some people. This is probably my own personal thoughts, but I know for sure that I've at least spread warmth and comfort to people around me.
- I can be level-headed
Surprise, surprise. I learned this about myself last night. When Daus decided to stop our taaruf, I realized from my replies that I can be level-headed. That I can be calm, respectful, and nice when facing difficult situations in life. I didn't lash out. I didn't explain myself that much. I didn't throw myself into the bridge.
Instead, I accepted his decision and that's it. It was over for us. But I learned that I can be level-headed, which is now a new quality I love about myself <3
- I'm matured
Hisyam mentioned this about me recently. He said I'm matured, and that's probably why he thinks I don't match well with Daus. I laughed at that time, because I thought Daus was the matured one. Last night, 14/12/25, I learned that I am the matured one. I realized that being matured is owning up to your flaws, willing to talk about it and willing to work on it, willing to solve whatever issues between us. That's maturing, rather than running away.
Maybe what I've experienced from little made me mature a bit fast, but that's fine. It's great. Only the ones who love me will find this quality great.
- I'm straightforward
I'm expressive. I say what I feel. I show what I feel. I don't allow any room for other people to second guess my thoughts, because I'm straightforward and I am willing to tell you my thoughts if you ask me. If I like it, then it'll show. If I don't like it, it'll show as well. I don't wear a mask to hide my emotions/feelings/thoughts. I don't need one. I'm matured enough to come forward and tell you the truth.
Some people are afraid of this. But I'm a simple person -- being straightforward is the key to a simple life. Those who are afraid of the truth, those with low confidence in themselves, will find me intimidating with how straightforward I am.
But let me tell you, Aida Sabrina, I'm proud of you. Own up to this good quality of yours. Be straightforward. The right person will acknowledge and appreciate it.
- I'm strong
As someone who has gone through a lot, I have a strong personality. I am strong. If you look closely, you can see how strong I am, even if I'm fragile. I am strong, even if I look weak. I am strong, even if life throws shit at me. I am strong, and there's no denial about it. I may be small, but I am strong mentally. I may not be physically strong, but I can win the mind games. I am strong.
I respect myself enough to know that I am strong. Through my ups and downs, I am strong. Even when I feel like I can't make it out alive, I am strong. Even when I think it's the end of my breath, I am strong.
And for that, Aida Sabrina, thank you. Thank you for being strong for me.
Honestly, there are all the qualities that I can think of for now.
It took me a lot of time and courage to list this down, but I made it!
I hope future me can look back to this list and add a lot more qualities that I like about myself <3
Thank you for being me <3
Labels: myself
Angel of Blue Diamond Saturn!
