Express The Angel

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Saturday, May 31, 2014 | 6:36 PM | 0 Alien

Regrets filled her heart as the wedding bells chimed in happiness, with crowds cheering, filling the wedding hall with excitement.

This is wrong. This is so wrong.

Her husband, Joonmyeon held her hand softly – he must be so relieved that they were now husband and wife. His grip was so soft that it reminded her when she tried to break up with him. Oh, how she wish she could turn back time. She looked up to him, his smile brought her back to sanity.

“Congratulations, dear. I know you would be the perfect girl for him the first time I met you.” Mrs. Kim gave her a bear hug. As they broke away, Yoona’s eyes caught a familiar figure walking towards them, with a bright smile plastered on his face. Her lips curled a small smile, eyes not leaving him as he walked pass her.

“Dude, you’re married! Congrats!” It was music to her ears – heavenly and harmonic. She swore she could sleep soundly tonight with the fact that she had been longing to listen to his voice. But a sudden realization hit her right in her heart and stabbed her hard – She was his sister-in-law right this damn moment.

Myungsoo then turned to her, smile still hadn’t fade away, which literally sent electric down her spine. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as he congratulated her and shook her hand. She swore she must be out of her current mind because she never wanted to let his hand go. It was their first skinship after a few years and she missed it.

“Take good care of my hyung. He can be a pain in the neck sometimes,” he said, followed with some chuckles from his parents. Joonmyeon smacked his head playfully as he grabbed her on her waist, saying that he wasn’t like that. She watched this family in amusement, but somehow guilt filled her heart.

Feelings, go away.
Stupid, Yoona, stupid, just get this feeling out of your mind already! He doesn’t love you, he never did in the first place!
Just move on.

Joonmyeon woke up peacefully despite the sorry he felt to his beautiful wife for having to postpone their honeymoon. After showering, he took a long glance on the woman beside him, softly carressing her long hair.

“I’m sorry,” he spoke, voice laced with sorry. Drops of water fell on her face, which he quickly wiped them away.

“I promise we’ll go there some other time.” Then, he got up and went to work.

Yoona wasn’t practically asleep during that moment. Her eyes were closed, but she just couldn’t get herself to sleep. She tossed and turned the whole night but she just couldn’t sleep. She seemed stuck between the reality and her Dreamland. Yoona got up a few moments after Myungsoo left, with red puffy eyes. She walked around the room with guilt. Something just couldn’t get out of her mind – Kim Myungsoo.

It was sinful and she could never be forgiven for this sin of loving someone else apart her husband. But somehow she just couldn’t get over the past. The past of two of them, it wasn’t that special. It wasn’t filled with happiness that much, laughter was rare, but at least it was somehow filled with love, the pure love of two innocent teens.

Yoona looked through the clear window, lips curling into a painful smile. Her eyes pierced through the view in front of her as tears slowly welling in her eyes. One by one, tears rolled down her cheeks. She sobbed.

“I’m sorry, Joonmyeon, I’m sorry.”

Myungsoo was already sitting at the dining table, waiting for everyone else for breakfast. His parents and Yoona went to the dining room at the same time.

“Morning,” Myungsoo greeted them as they took their seat on the table. They greeted him back and started to eat their breakfast which was made by him.

The whole atmosphere was awkward.

“Where’s Joonmyeon?” Mrs. Kim broke the silence between them. Yoona looked up, only to have an eye-contact with Myungsoo. She paused.

“Uhhh… He left to work early.” Yoona then stole a very quick glance on the man in front of her.

“So, how are things between you two?” Myungsoo’s eyes lit up as curiosity grew into him. Yoona turned to her mother-in-law, quite unsure of the question.

“Pardon me?”

“You know, do you feel awkward with each other after marriage or do you need some space or have you done… that?” Myungsoo almost choked his food upon hearing that.

“Are you okay, son?” He nodded, quickly finishing his breakfast.

“So, care to tell us about it?” Mrs. Kim continued the conversation but Yoona shook her head.

“It’s not going that well. I don’t know why but we feel awkward with each other,” she said, followed with a soft awkward chuckle from herself.

She looked down on her food, and all she could feel was guilt.

Joonmyeon noticed his wife wasn’t being her real cheerful self these days. Yoona wasn’t as loud as she used to be, she rarely laughed out loud to his jokes like she used to. Something must’ve bothered her that much.

“Darling, is there something wrong?” He sat beside her on the couch. Yoona looked up to him, closing the novel she was reading.

She faked a smile. “Nothing is wrong.” She placed her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes and she sniffed his sweet scent that made her relax.

“Are you sure? You look down these days.”

It seemed like forever for Yoona to answer that she was perfectly fine. She then moved her arms, slowly touching the man’s chest with the tip of her fingertips before wrapping her arms around his waist. “Maybe I’m just bored till death here,” she joked. “You should come home early and spend time with me.”

Joonmyeon pursued his lips tight. He knew he hadn’t been a good husband to her since their marriage - he was too busy with his work. “I’m sorry.”

To Joonmyeon, there wasn’t so much he could do than apologize. He couldn’t promise to come home early because he knew he wouldn’t uphold that promise for a long time. So, it was better to have no promises than to break promises.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to be sorry.”

Myungsoo sometimes thought of moving somewhere else, somewhere he could get away from Yoona. She was a stranger, and she would always be a stranger to him. He didn’t even know her anymore, not after she suddenly left without a notice three years ago. Everything about her changed – the way she looks at him, the way she smiles at him, and the way she talks to him. Everything just drastically changed and he hated her for that. He just wanted to know why, and the reason behind her changes. Those questions kept on lingering in his mind and they didn’t seem to stop bothering him no matter how much he tried.

But he was still the same Kim Myungsoo Yoona had always known – shy and quiet. He wouldn’t ask her those questions, no matter what. But the fact that he was demure sometimes led him to a point of insanity.

But he never wanted to change because it was the real him in the very beginning, it was the person that made Yoona fall for him.

Some nights, Yoona found herself alone with Myungsoo at the dining room, just the both of them. Sometimes she found herself looking at him unwarily through the window. Rarely did she find herself talking to him. It was awkward, it was estranged.

It was one of those awkward moments when Yoona tried to make a friendly conversation of a brother-and-sister-in-law.

“Do you always go home early, Myungsoo?” The man glued his eyes to the laptop in front of him, but some things were running in his mind. Myungsoo, he missed that word coming out from her mouth. It was magical; it was a cure to his longing pain.

“Yeah” was the only answer she got. Her heart felt pain as she plastered a fake smile on her face. And that was it – the end of their conversation. The room was filled with silence once again. Yoona tapped her fingers on the table as she looked at Myungsoo who was so immersed into his work. Joonmyeon still hadn’t come home yet while her parents-in-law had already slept. Yoona sighed in boredom but suddenly her lips curled into a small smile.

Her mind played the moments when she used to stare at Myungsoo doing his homework years ago, how hardworking he had always been, and how he used to pout when he didn’t know the answer to the question. Back then, Yoona wasn’t that good in studies but she still remembered how she studied Maths really hard just to attract Myungsoo’s attention. He was good in everything, except Maths. Being the top student in her class for Maths, she got the chance to tutor him Maths but it didn’t go well as she planned. He was as quiet as ever and he didn’t really ask her questions.

“You’re still quiet as you used to be, huh?” Yoona broke the silence, eyes glued to him. He turned to her and their eyes met.

“Yeah, I still am,” Myungsoo answered as soon as he broke the eye-contact.

“Do you still hate me?”

“Why should I?”

“I was your creepy stalker, remember? You had always hated me. And now, the fact that I’m your sister-in-law makes—“

“I never hate you.” Myungsoo interrupted. “Never did in the first place.”

Yoona clicked her tongue and heaved a deep breath. Her eyes were welled with tears as she blinked many times than usual. She turned her head, not allowing him to see her tears that slowly rolled down her cheeks one by one.

Yoona stood up, fingers wiping away those tears on her cheeks. “I’m sleepy. Good night.”

It was too much for Yoona to bear it.

Labels: Evanescent, fanfics, L, Yoona

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