Sunday, August 24, 2025 | 6:23 PM | 0 Alien
Told ya :)
Hi there!
We meet again, fortunately? Unfortunately?
Idk how it turned out to be like this. I alrd told her that it's gonna be a waste of time, that my friend had asked him before and he made it clear he wasn't interested in me.
But she didn't buy it.
She wanted to try and be our matchmaker.
And it ended up like this.
The thing is, I'm afraid I'll be this crazy obsessed girl in his eyes. Bcs the first time was a clear rejection. Even though my friends were not happy with his reply, it was clear to me.
It was a no.
But ofc, some people just decided to take things into their own hands, even if I told her I gave up already. I don't think he's for me. I don't think we'll work it out.
And now, I can't post anything related to love on my status, bcs he'll think that's meant for him.
In my defense, he was the epitome of my ideal guy. But I didn't like him that way, never had. I never liked him the way I liked A***l.
In fact, I don't think I've ever liked anyone the way I liked A***l.
So pathetic LOL
I hate the fact that I used to like a guy like him. I hate how immature he was, and I hate the emotional trauma I experienced, just for liking someone.
I was innocent. I was a nice person. But he made me feel like a villain, only for liking him.
And what, 7 years later, I'm still very much single haha
Partly because of the trauma I experienced.
Maybe, in this life, I'm not meant to experience love.
Maybe, in this life, while everyone else around me manage to find their loved ones, I'm the one to take care of their loved ones, as a doctor.
Maybe that's the only purpose of my life -- to be a servant and a doctor.
(Honestly, that's kinda sad) (And if anyone somehow finds this blog after my death and I did end up dying single, that's just so so so sad)
I wish to have a family of my own. To be a wife to a good man. To be a mother to a beautiful child.
I prayed for it during Hajj. I know God will grant my prayers, just exactly like how He grant all the other prayers.
The specific duas I made for love during Hajj
They were very non-specific. There was only ONE dua where I asked for the best person for me. And that's it.
I leave the rest to Allah.
I let Him decide what's best for me.
In the meantime, I'll just take care of myself.
Okay, see you again later.
Maybe I'll still be single by then.
It's okay tho. It's fine.
Labels: diary, love rants
Angel of Blue Diamond Saturn!
