Friday, November 29, 2024 | 6:52 PM | 0 Alien
Ah, here's the dreadful topic to discuss about.But I need to let these thoughts out so that I can find peace within myself.
I used to think that I might find someone once I start working. Ha. That was so funny of me.
Truth is, everyone is taken. Like, everyone. And the world is so small that they're all related to each other in some kinds of way. And that makes me lonelier. I mean, yeah, that makes sense. Ofc HOs will end up with HOs, but how did they end up together?
That always confuses me.
Everyone around me is taken and there's no one left for me?
Not that I'm that desperate. But I try to look for some possible matches for me, but noooo-- they're either taken or just not my type.
If I were to think positive, it's great that God saves me from unnecessary heartbreaks. It's great that I'm being avoided from wasting my time and emotions and effort in men, but y'know, sometimes I can't help but to think how great it might be if I have someone by my side. A guy best friend that can calm me down, make me think rationally, and just be there for me for emotional support.
I admit that I get a little envy of people who have found their right one.
But I'll find someone soon, right?
And even if I don't find someone right for me, I'm pretty sure that's the best for my life. God has planned everything perfectly, and who I am to deny and be ungrateful of what God has planned for me?
There must've been some strong reasons why I haven't found someone yet.
And if God has intended for me to stay single my whole life, it's okay. I'm a daughter. I'm a sister. I'm a mother. I'm a friend. I'm a doctor. I'm a servant. I'm not truly lonely. Even if everyone around me finds someone right for them later, it's okay. I have God. I can find solace in being single.
And maybe, with my life history, it might be better to just be single.
Maybe that'll hurt me less :')
Maybe no one out there can handle me better than myself.
Maybe no one out there can accept me for who I am, can accept my family without any judgement.
And it's okay :)
I've always wanted to find someone who can see the deeper side of me -- someone who can hear the unsaid words, who can read in between the lines, who can see the hidden expressions, who can understand the complexity of my life.
But perhaps, that person will never show up.
And instead, that person will always be me, myself. I might be the only person who understands me the most.
I am my own hero.
I am my own lover.
No worries.
Labels: love rants
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