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Embarrassingly Sweet
Thursday, March 20, 2014 | 1:55 AM | 0 Alien
Assalamualaikum.
Everything didn't work out well as I thought, blame the wind. But it wasn't the main problem today. I mean heol parachute and I were never meant to be together *ugly sobbing* wind just seemed to hate me. And it wasn't anyone's fault so yehet. 

 So, before I tell ya the main problem I'm facing today, let me just start by telling you how my day was. 

 I didn't know why but my mood seemed to be off today. But I was happy that it's Wednesday. What's up with Wednesday? RLAB. It means I'm gonna see him right in front of my eyes after the assembly. 
My routine to see him every Wednesday

I was looking forward to this evening I couldn't even sit still. And I couldn't just stop myself from thinking about how cute he is, how amazingly perfect he is for me and how great he is in my eyes. 

And I still couldn't get over the fact that the cockblocker cockblocked our moments yesterday. 

 Bila kat kantin, saya sengaja nak beli air awal sebab saya nampak Owl dekat situ. Sebenarnya saya cadang nak beli air lepas habis makan nanti but since dia dah ada kat sana (RLAB) saya cepatkan niat nak beli air tu. Okay masa tu dia cute gila2 nak mampus as in gila gila gila gila cute sangat. 

 Masa petang, saya kesian kat dia sebab dia macam jadi yang pekerja tu saya lupa word dia apa RLAB volunteer ke benda ntah and dia kena stay dekat tempat yang gila panas tu and I was like kesiannya Owl! 

 Masa lepas Faten launched rocket dia, Owl ambil rocket tu and bagi Faten. Saya tak nampak masa tu. Then, Faten tanya saya, saya jealous tak Owl bagi dia rocket tu and I was like gila tak jealous?! Then, just then, Owl bagi Eizzah rocket dia and I was like gosh she's so lucky *ugly sobbing in my heart*

Then, I told Aina yang saya nak ambil rocket dia nanti and she said yes. Lepas launch, saya ambil, tapi bukan Owl yang bagi tapi pakcik kecik lagi sorang tu. Sedih rasa. Then, masa rocket Aishah pula, saya kata benda yang sama kat Kirah and she said okay and then pakcik yang sama bagi so I was like hmph takpe lah terima kasih aje and Aishah pergi ambil rocket dia drpd pakcik tu. 

 Bila Aishah launched kali kedua, saya nak ambil rocket tu. Saya dah kata awal-awal dah. Tapi kalau pakcik yang sama bagi, saya tak nak ambil. Fates gotta be playing with me cause Owl yang ambil and I was like GOSH this is a dream come true and they were like Aida, pergilah ambil and such. 

 A few steps ahead, Nisa jerit "Go Aida! Aida! Aida!" And yang lain ikut sama cheered and I was there like wth you guys are so freaking obvious! Dia tahulah nanti. Saya pusing and nak suruh diam tapi diaorang tak nampak sign saya so I was literally curse in my mind cause heck he would know! They were so freaking loud I wanna cry in embarrassment. 

 So I turned my head, and be like, okay, I got this and he handed me the rocket but it kinda slipped out of my hand and I was like uhh, thank you and I was about to smile out of embarrassment. Urgh. Then, I turned around, walked towards the girls and my legs were so weak I couldn't stand so I fell and be like eiii malunya. 

Aina said masa diaorang cheer tu, orang lain tak perasan sangat but masa saya jatuh tu, ada kakak f4 ketawa. RLAB. 

Lepas tu, I just couldn't face him. I mean, heck, dia dah tahu and how am I gonna look at him as in seriously tolonglah memalukan gila masa tu. But those girls were like you guys are so sweet and they were telling like masa awak jalan tu, nampak macam nak kahwin ke benda ntah and nampak macam (insert your word here cause I forgot) and blah blah. I mean memanglah saya pun rasa benda tu sweet tapi memalukan dah lah masa tu saya seorang je yang nak pergi ambil rocket tu and they were cheering for me and mestilah dia tahu so memalukan. Embarrassingly sweet.

Saya rasa nak nangis aje selepas tu sebab terlalu obvious and they kinda ruined the moment. But mostly, bukan sebab tu lah. But sebab...
History repeats itself.

 I try to avoid some things that'll be bad for me in this crushy thingy lol my choice of word. In this case, I just don't want him to know that I have a crush on him. I just don't want to experience the same thing again.

I mean, heck, what if he's the same 'species' as Pie? But I'm quite sure he's not but what if, he is? I just don't wanna have another psycho in my life. I don't wanna like another psycho. 

 But yang saya a bit annoyed lah kan, masa group saya nak buat parachute, dia main2 kat tiang gol tu and lambat kira masa parachute tu. Tolonglah, tu sengaja ke tak tu hmph. But dia comel masa dia kata kat cikgu masa tu and then pakcik hitam tu bagi kiraan masa yang lain and cikgu was like awat lain gila masa and dia senyum2 ke belakang sikit and cakap dengan cockblocker semalam tu and cockblocker tu kata, dia main2 tadi. Tak ready. 

 Saya ada terfikir tadi, what if, kalau selepas ni, saya tak minat dia dah just sebab dia dah tahu saya suka dia? I mean, seriously, dah setahun lebih rasanya saya minat dia and dia orang first rasanya, mungkin tak, tapi saya rasa ya, orang yang paling lama saya minat in reality. And rasa sayang kalau tak minat dia dah tapi macam terlalu obvious nanti kalau saya pandang dia ke apa. Hmphh. Dah lah saya lebih tua drpd dia. :(

 Okay, it's 1.55 am alrd. Assalamualaikum.
Love you guys, bubblebye ^_^

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