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Cinta Dan Benci. Love And Hate.
Sunday, April 8, 2012 | 9:27 PM | 0 Alien
I just listened to Geisha's Cinta Dan Benci. You know, I looked at my sister's profile and then, I saw the video. I just listened to it cause she said that the song was great! And when I heard it, I fell in love with it!


When I listened to it, I just thought of writing this post. So, here it is. In English. Why? Cause Farra somehow motivated me to write in English BACK! Okay, now, the old BDA is back! 


So, back to the topic.. Cinta Dan Benci. Love And Hate. 


Sometimes, I hate him. Sometimes, I love him. I don't know. I just felt... Somehow... My old feeling is back. You know, the feeling of me liking him. Okay, maybe loving him. 


On 2nd of April, I dislike him. The next day, 3rd of April, I like Fairy. On 4th of April, I hate him and I don't like Fairy. 7th of April, somewhat like... 9 p.m., I admit that I like Fairy to Aina. And then, at 11 p.m., I guess the feeling of liking MH slowly comes back. But I deny it! And today, 8th of April, I admit that I like him back!


But I can't. I can't like him. I gotta push this feeling away! Why? Cause she likes him. No, not just she. But they. They like him. You know, at the same time, I don't wanna feel the pain again. Yes, the pain of liking him. You see, the moment I thought I dislike him, I felt emptiness in my heart. It was empty without him. Even when I forced myself to like Fairy, the emptiness could not be filled! My heart was still empty! What's the meaning of it? 


I didn't see him at school for... I don't know. Maybe 2 days. And I thought I like it. But, actually, deep inside my heart, I hate it! I... I missed him. You know, I missed liking him. I missed missing to see him. I missed missing to chat with him. I missed missing to smile in front of him. Huh... Do you also feel this pain? 


And now, when I think I like him, I just realize that I can't like him. I don't wanna break their fragile heart. *smile* I'm smiling because I'm grateful that I won't feel the same pain again. Just smile. That's my habit. When I wanna cry, I smile. I'll hide my tears by smiling, even though it's just me in this room. I'm embarrassed with myself cause I cry because of this stupid complicated love. 


God, if he's not for me, if he likes someone else, please, just make me like someone else! Make someone else open my locked heart, the heart that can only be opened by him. The one that has the key of my heart. 


So, what's my feeling now? Where does my heart belong to? To Fairy or MH? Only God has the answer :D. 


So, assalammualaikum and annyeong! See you in the next post!




PAST ♥ FUTURE


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Bubblehye


Assalamualaikum! Greetings, aliens from Saturn! You've stepped into BDA's world. Accept me for who I am or just get out of here. I don't bite.
Blue Diamond Angel



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